Many of us seem to believe that children can and do enjoy sexual interactions with themselves and adults. As our buddy xcolt says, child/child relations are much more tolerated, to a large extent I agree. When the age discrepancy widens the acceptance declines but, none the less, adult/child sexual relations, especially in modern western nations, is seen as worse than death in the eyes of many.
Most people are convinced and have been bolstered by shoddy science and research that this is true. Hilariously flawed correlational nonsense. Research where the researchers had their conclusions and sought the data to back up their conclusions. Against all biological proof otherwise.
We, generally, know better. If we take a sexual experience between two children, what makes it suddenly harmful when the party that is two months older is actually two years older? Four years older? Eight years older? Sixteen? Is it the knowledge of the older party? What if the two month older child has had peer/peer experiences before and is introducing a new child to them? Some will say that is abuse, though most won't consider it the soul destroying abuse that is adult/child sexual relations. Many will also say it isn't harmful, though most will say it should never be encouraged, though some would tolerate it as normal exploration.
I digress, if knowledge isn't the poison in the apple, then what is? Is it a power differential? Now we have a new can of worms. First off, unless the child is broken down to be so, most children do not just obey all adults. This argument works better against parent/guardian/child sexual relations. Not so much all adult/child sexual relations. There would not be a multi-billion industry revolving around child discipline. Also, though this is a pure guess, most pedophiles generally try to liberate a child to express themselves sexually, only true abusers want to dominate and demean the child. Those people abuse regardless of the law. The lovers are bound by culture much more so than abusers. Power differential also exists in all relationships. My father was physically and financially much more powerful than my mother. If the power is not flexed then there is no inherent abuse. It is that simple. Regardless, the reader can try to get a feisty little girl to do whatever he wants against her will without force (turning it to abuse). Good luck.
The rational conclusion is that harm is instilled retroactively. This is done through iatrogenic and sociogenic harm. Working in the mental health industry, I know that if a child enjoys and likes a sexual interaction with an adult and continues to genuinely want to see them, we are trained to distort their perception to fit ours, which goes against everything else we are taught. Socially, and this affects girls more than boys, pressure is placed to view such interactions as negative. Any issues people have are generally attributed to a sexual interaction they had with an adult as a child if such an interaction happened. A fun time suddenly becomes ugly, weird and uncomfortable to the point of severe mental harm.
Now, I have two examples I found in the wild of exactly what I am talking about. Let's go over them:
I was sexually abused as a little kid, but at the time I didn't understand it.
This is a red flag, it generally leads rationalizing why an experience they enjoyed and did not harm them actually was harmful. It doesn't always however, we must be unbiased to the best of our ability.
I thought we were just playing and as a child I liked the attention. So, if you would have asked me back then I probably would say I wanted this.
Well, this child was just playing and the attention was positive and they enjoyed it. The person even admits they would have said they wanted it. Now, a child would want candy and dessert and McDonald's all the time too, I am sure they would regret, yet admit they liked it, when they grew up. Let's see, possibly they received an STD or were old enough for an early pregnancy and became pregnant. Both would be cases of abuse I would agree. What negative harm will this poster reveal, if any?
The older I got the creepier it seemed and when I got in to middle school I got him to stop, but still didn't see the damage.
It is normal for children to grow out of certain interactions with adults. I used to love sleeping with my father (not sexually) and sitting on his lap. As I got older I felt it was weird. That did not mean that when I did do that I was harmed, just that I would not do it anymore. Even if I regretted doing it, like the poster, what damage would there be to see?
Let us also not forget that as a child ages, especially girls, social norms take root and the human takes them more seriously. It is entirely possible this creepiness grew from that. However, we can't be sure.
So, I think we should educate sooner and more aggressively when it comes to sex sexuality and so on. Our society needs to be way more open.
The poster never explained what was harmful, how there was harm, just that they "realized" harm and thus it was damaging. They then say we need to be more aggressive with this... changing of minds and start it earlier with children. They claim it is about sex and sexuality, but we all know how those things go. When a child is taught about such things without bias, they will then seek to explore, this is human reality. These lessons will be mixed with the poison we have been seeking. The goal is to scare kids.
I do agree we should be more open, meaning the poster should have been able to share that they had an experience they enjoyed and people should have accepted that.
Now, we have one more story to go over:
what I do remember is being about the age of 5/6 and an ex-friend-of-my-mum’s son who was probably 16/17 and he would give me lots of attention and kiss me. I liked the attention and I remember that and the kisses made me feel butterflies in my stomach that I didn’t understand.
This sounds utterly adorable. What is disgusting is that we have created a culture where someone has grown to see this as abuse. Then rationalizes their new distorted view by saying "I didn't understand". Kids that age do not understand much at all, she DID understand that she liked it and it made her feel good. Now she must convince herself there was some hidden thing she didn't get.
the way he made it seem like it was a secret between the two of us made it exciting. I thought we were just playing.
I mean, just because something is a secret does not make it bad. Unless one will share this attitude about secrets in general then one is just cherry picking to bolster their argument/convince themselves something was bad. Also, the poster was playing, they were playing a loving flirty game. That is the reality.
That’s what these people do. They make it seem like a fun game for young kids who don’t understand how they’re being manipulated.
This is what the poster tells themselves to convince themselves it was harmful. It is vastly easier to go along with social norms than to oppose them and, sadly I must say it again, females tend to do this more so than males. He liked the poster, he liked kissing the poster, the poster liked him and the poster liked the kisses. Nothing else need be said.
end of examples
Nothing much else need be said. Examples like these pepper the internet and are likely the majority in "abuse" cases.
If nothing else, take solace in the fact that we are not in the wrong.