Hi All,

As those of you who have been here for a while may realize, I have been largely silent for a long time. One reason for this is that I feel I have covered almost everything I wanted to say about our situation in life. To put it simply, I have gotten a little bit bored with the ordinary, day to day discussions on this board.

That said, I really haven't changed that much from my more prolific posting days. Despite the continuing onslaught of hate filled, ignorant, anti groups against us, even against those of us who have committed no crime, I still feel it is possible for most of us to craft productive and happy (yes, I said HAPPY) lives for both ourselves and the little ones we love.

The following is a piece I wrote back in 2001, with some revisions and a few additional paragraphs. It is, of course, only my opinion; my outlook on life.

There are always more than one way of looking at things. There is the pessimistic way, the optimistic way, and the realistic way. An optimist looks at a half pie and says, "A half pie, just for me! Maybe someone will bring me the other half later!" The pessimist looks at the half pie and says "Damn. Somebody ate the other half of my pie! Now I only have this one little piece left. I hope someone doesn't steal it too." But the realist looks at the half pie and says, "The hell with both of you" and eats it all up.

So it is in life. We can be elated that we have made some progress by having forums like Girl Chat, in which we can gain support, have lighthearted interactions with others like us, and explore the reasons and philosophies of being child Lovers, while still trying to remain ethical and moral. We can bravely predict that the future will be brighter and that we will one day be accepted by the rest of the world for what we are: normal people with a special love for children. Furthermore, we can believe they will understand that this special love can be immensely beneficial to both the children and society at large. That is the optimistic point of view.

On the other hand, we can bemoan the fact that we are so misunderstood and even hated by the rest of society. We can live in constant fear of being outed, resulting in the loss of our jobs, freedom, respectability, and possibly our very lives. We may concentrate mainly on the anti-pedophile laws, negative media reports, and witch hunts, and cry out for understanding when we know that none will be forthcoming. We live in constant fear of "Wikisposure" and other anti blogs, and believe that all new posters here at Girl Chat are really spies out to ruin our lives. We feel that, eventually, we will be condemned as child molesters, or child molesters in training. We believe that our lot is to be miserable and unconnected to the children we love until the day that we die a lonely and sad death. That is the pessimistic point of view.

But if we keep an even keel, use our intelligence, maintain our morality and principles, even in the face of ignorance and prejudice, then we can eat half the pie and be reasonably happy. It IS possible to connect with children, with mutual satisfaction, and, consequently, live our lives as happy, productive citizens.

Needless to say, we cannot label ourselves as "Pedophiles", or even the more politically correct "Child Lovers", as they immediately send a red flag to just about every parent, LEO, and Child Advocate in the world. Doing this virtually assures that we will have NO contact with children ever. Therefore, we must decide what is more important in our lives; coming out of the toybox, or living life the way we are hard wired to live it. The realist chooses the later, while the optimist the former. Pessimists do neither; they just sit home, miserable and discontented, feeling sorry for themselves.

The internet provides us with an opportunity that child lovers who came before us never had. We have formed communities (such as this one here at Girl Chat) in order to voice our fears, frustrations and confusions, as well as our hopes, dreams and aspirations. We can, and have to some degree, begun to come together and unite. This helps to alleviate the isolation and feeling that we are alone in the world.

Remember, the sum of our abilities is a whole lot greater than each of the individual parts. And while we may not realize social acceptance in our lifetimes, we can take comfort that we will leave the next generation of Child Lovers a foundation and a legacy upon which they can continue to build.

Those of us who have not made the decision to come out of the toybox, or who have not been outed by some other means, may also build a life based on caring for, and being with the little people with whom we wish to share so much. We CAN be benefactors to the children in our lives, as well as the recipients of their love. Although we cannot, in good conscience, fulfill our deepest desires for sexual intimacy, the rest of the pie is ours...if we are able to take it.

This, for me anyway, is the realistic approach.

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