re I don't know why I'm bothering

What do you know about our lives? When you are reading messages here, you must start with the assumption that people are revealing just a small part of their lives here.

I came to internet 25 years ago -- and i have never been anonymous. No, I was outed even before that. One reason: I was talkative. Another reason: some criminals in some other part of the world.

So you have no idea what I have experienced: enough persecution for one man.

(Now I am "almost old" and romance/sex does not mean much to me any more, so my situation is much easier now than it used to be... and everything belongs to the past already... of course I have developed my new problems, but they have nothing to do with our topic, so I don't even mention them here.)

As for your situation, the only thing I can do is to wish you strength and good luck. I live in Europe, and if you live somewhere else, there is really very little I can do for you.