'You don't even believe your own claims about feminism, or their implications.'
Not all feminists think alike, and not all feminists agree with each other, this is the point I always make, ad nauseam.
'Rather than shooting yourself and your fellow feminists in the feet, why not find common ground with GLs?'
I don't identify as a feminist, but neither do I identify as anti-feminist. I have many reservations about some feminist conceptions of 'freeing' women, when in actuality all it does is indoctrinate women into the miserable life so many men lead. I think that many contemporary notions of 'equality' simply mean 'equality of misery' by not addressing the bigger issues at hand. But that's a different discussion.
That being said, I know of many 'feminist' GLers, but they don't tend to come here or voice their opinions because they know how contentious the issue is. It seems to me that you're assuming that no girl-lover can, or should, be a feminist, but this is not true. It's this grouping of people into assumed conformity that is dangerous. Just because someone belongs to a group of people, it doesn't mean they all think alike, and no group has a prime spokesperson. Every individual within an 'ideological' group of society will also belong to other sub-groups with varying opinions.
Not every feminist attacks pedophilia, and a lot who do attack it are not feminists. Ought we, then, to vehemently shut out all of society for the continual damage the huge majority do to us? I feel like that wouldn't get us very far.