If you're sure he touched your daughter against her will, then I'm afraid you must ask her the following question [and be willing to believe and accept her answer, no matter what it is]:

"Brenda [or whatever her name is], you've told me that Bob [or whatever his name is] touched you when you didn't want him to. So I have to ask you this-- How would it make you feel if I kept seeing him? I still feel like I love him, and he says he loves me and is sorry for what he did. But I don't want you to be in a situation you are uncomfortable in. If you would rather I didn't see him any more, then I won't, even if I still feel for him. You're important to me, more important than my feelings about him. Please tell me how you feel about this, really and truly. I want to know what to do. I'm not asking you to decide for me. Only I can do that. But in order to decide, I need to know how you feel. Could you please tell me, honestly. Don't try to say what you think I want to hear. Please tell me how you really feel."

[Please note, don't say, 'You're more important to me than he is.' That puts her under too much pressure. Say, 'You're more important to me than my feelings about him are.' Because that's the real issue.]

And then, if she says ANYTHING remotely negative about your continuing to see him, that's it. It's over. Period. No second guessing, no asking her if she's sure, no trying to 'reason with her' about it. Just, bang, that's it. It's over.

Of course, for this to work, you have to mean it before you say it to her. Kids are smart. If you ask her having insincere reasons, she'll see right through it. You have to really mean it, and then follow through on it.

You say in your reply, 'Time will tell.' Nope. You can't afford to wait for time to tell. If she feels that your interest in him constitutes a betrayal of her, then you'll lose her, sooner or later, one way or another. And more importantly, she will have lost you. It's that simple. And I surely do hope you're not willing to lose her. When you became her mother, you took on the responsibility of taking care of her. Please don't abandon that, just to follow your own attractions.

Please note I'm not suggesting that you condemn him, or berate him, or tell him off, or take any kind of negative stance toward him, to make it supposedly easier for yourself to break up with him. It wouldn't hurt to tell him you understand the feelings that led him to do what he did. [If that's true.] Just tell him, in as business-like a way as possible, that because of what happened, you feel you must break off with him. Don't even mention your conversation with your daughter. Take responsibility for your decision yourself. Don't say, "Maybe someday, when you've changed some." Be firm. Tell him it's over and then leave. (Or send him away, whichever is appropriate to the situation.) IF HE HAS EVER TRULY LOVED EITHER ONE OF YOU, he'll accept this and understand. If not, well, you know what that means, don't you?!?!?

Is he a human being? Does he deserve sympathy and acceptance as who he is, what he is? Yes and yes. BUT NOT FROM YOU! Not in this scenario. If I were in his shoes, I would WANT you to do what I have outlined above.

--Jensman