GirlChat #390530

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We are victims too...

Posted by MrDOB on Sunday, April 08 2007 at 01:29:36AM

It has come to my attention that this forum is read by a larger segment of the public, and not necessarily all MAAs. This post is for those people who may be on this site in order to try to understand what we are about. I can only imagine that some of you have family members that are pedophiles or, god forbid, you may have lost a child of your own. I don't wish to belittle your opinion or experience. I just want you to know that we are not the monsters you think we are. When I read the paper and see an article about a little girl getting raped or murdered, I cry. Every single time. It upsets me deeply to think of those individuals who cannot control their actions. But please don't assume that all us girl-lovers would do those horrible things. We are people too. We have jobs, family and friends. We are not all that different from anyone else really. Please don't look at this one aspect of our life and assume you know everything about us, just because you read some statistics in some book. We come from all walks of life, races, religions, ages, socio-economic brackets and what-have-you. And, in many cases, can go through our whole life without ever harming a child.

The key to understanding our plight is to consider the notion that we are victims in this too. I never chose to be attracted to little girls. In some ways our fate chooses us. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish that I was "normal" like you. Do you think that any of us wanted to be social outcasts? Its not like you wake up one day and think "I want to be a pedophile when I grow up." Whether its nature or nurture or both, is irrelevant. The fact is that we have little control in choosing our sexual orientation. Did you ever make a conscience decision to be straight, or gay for that matter? Like many things in this world, it just is. I have tried many times in my life to "cure" myself, but it doesn't work like that. For better or worse, you are who you are. You can't change that. In a way, we are just as much of victims in this as anyone else.

I'm sure there are some of you that support the vigilante action against pedophiles. This is not helping anyone. This is only making the situation worse. I hear over and over that saying "these people need help", yet how come no one has stepped up to help us? Harassing or brandishing innocent people is not what I consider help. This only acts to marginalize and ostracize the individuals involved. And if you are truly aiming at protecting children, this is not the way to go about it. All this does is push those lonely people into a state of desperation and further increases any chance they might actually commit a crime in the future.

If you want to help the children you can start by educating them. Maybe if the school systems had proper sex-education then children would be knowledgeable enough to avoid getting themselves into bad situations. Simply telling them to "not talk to strangers" is not enough. It is a well known fact that the vast majority of sexual abuse is perpetrated by family members or family-friends. By focusing all your attention on this elusive boogyman hiding in the bushes, you lose sight of the true nature of the situation. This acts to further vilify any adult-child relationships, and pushes the topic into unspeakable territory. What this does is stifle any progress in actually dealing with the situation. For example, many sociologists might avoid research into the topic due to fear of being labeled a pedophile themselves. It also makes it harder for victims of abuse to come to terms with what is happening and seek help.

All I ask is that you understand that we are people too. We have feelings, emotions and a conscience. We are not these myopic rabid animals the media makes us out to be. We have rights as human beings. We deserve the same rights as anyone else. The way we have been treated by the public is nothing less than discrimination. It is not all that different than how the Nazi's treated Jews and gays during the holocaust. Please, just think of how we feel. It is not easy to walk in these shoes. I never wanted this burden. But life isn't fair. And if this is the life I was given, so be it.

Peace & GirlLove,


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