...trial Balloon here. What I am trying to do is to hone in on a strategy that stands a chance of advancing both the rights of children and, eventually, our own.
To me there are two plausible first steps. The first is to continue to argue for the validity of childhood sexuality and the right of a child to express it. I think that most people know, or at least suspect, that children are not innocent in terms of both sexual feelings and incipient sexual activities. I also think that many parents are outraged when they hear of kids being prosecuted like common criminals because they have done what children have always done; fooled around sexually with other kids. Because of this, I think many people (nons) would be susceptible to the argument that it is better to allow kids to do their experimenting in an above ground and quasi supervised manner, rather than in the shadows of deceit and in the dark, both figuratively and often literally. I think one of the most important steps for us, is to try to advance the right of the child to express his/her sexual self in a healthy and positive manner, and to suggest that this cannot be done while hiding from Mom and Dad.
But, to do this, we must not stress or insist that we should have a right to be involved with them; not yet anyway. To do so would cloud the water and give the mainstream an out by claiming that they MUST protect their kids from abusive and expoitative (read intergenerational)predation. Instead, the comfort zone of parents should be respected, and their cooperation sought, for helping children grow up healthier and more comfortable with their sexuality. The common practice of children playing doctor, simulating sex with their clothes on, and even taking off their clothes and examining each other should be legitimized and taken out of the realm of the legal system. Further hands on learning could be at the discretion of the parents and with their permission. This, along with the consent of the child(ren), should be all that is needed to achieve legal status.
The second step which should be taken, apart and separately from the first, is to educate the public about the true nature of Child Love. We must emphasize the distiction between Child LOVERS and Child MOLESTERS and share some of the research (much of which was done by the Department of Justice) which indicates that the majority of sexual abuse is NOT committed by Child Lovers at all, but by relatives, and other opportunists, who have taken advantage of a child's naivete and small physical stature to coerce, threaten, and manipulate them into compliance.
"How would you guide a child through its first intercourse?
Do you think they want you to stand there watching while they get laid for the first time? And if voyeurism was not your intended meaning, then I can only conclude that you meant incest, which I doubt you meant; that is another bucket of worms."
I think both the age of the child and the degree of modesty and shame s/he has built up is the key to how much direct supervision should be involved. It would vary from situation to situation, and ideally, be as uniquely suited for the individual child(ren) as possible. If, for example, the kids have been present when Mom and Dad have made love, then reminders concerning safety and respect for others, would be all that is required. But, if nurturing a positive sexual self for their children is a recent decision, then more detailed physical and emotional details should be included in order to prepare the kids for what is to come.
I would also say that success the first time is not mandatory. Kids are not successful the first time they try to ride a bike nor are they exempt from falling down when they take their first steps as toddlers. But, in both cases (and many others as well) the parents are there to pick the child up and reassure them. Developing a positive sexuality is likewise a precess not an event.