Hi Minstrel,

Like you, I am also attracted exclusively to prepubescent children. We do differ a little, in that I also have an attraction to some boys as well. If I had to use one phrase to describe my self, it would be "Exclusive Child Lover."

I also grew up thinking I was the only one who had these attractions. In fact, when I was a teenager, and all my friends were all interested in dating, I was interested in the little girl who use to come into the restaurant where I worked. I learned to play along when they would talk about the cute girl in class, but my mind was always on the sweet LG that I would see in the restaurant every Sunday. It was during this period of my life that I began to crave alone time and would often play my records in my sister's room all by myself, and dream of "Cindy".

There are, to my mind, two kinds of people attracted to kids and therefore, two kinds of pedo's. I call the two sub-catagories "Exclusive" and "Blended". You and I are part of the "Exclusive" group, who find only kids who have not begun to change into teens sexually interesting. As you point out, there are many others (perhaps even a majority) here who are able to bond emotionally and sexually with teens and/or adults, as well as have strong feelings for children. These people are in the "Blended" group.

I look at our sexuality as being on a continuum. If you can imagine a line, with zero in the middle, and 100 on both ends, we could assign "exclusive CL" to one 100 and "exclusive same age attractedness" to the other. The blended personalities would fall at points near the zero in the middle, while you and I (Exclusive CLs) would be near the pedo 100%. My guess is that there would be about the same number of people at both ends of the continuum; e.g. about the same number of people are exclusively CL as are exclusively same age attracted. I don't think our orientation is really as much a minority as people would have us believe, if we are talking about all people who have some measure of sexual attractions towards kids.

It would be my contention that those of us who have no other sexual interest besides prepubescent children, are the ones who need to find a model for how to live our lives. Blended orientations can choose, if they so desire, to live a "normal" life and fit right into "normal" social situations. Exclusive GL's, BL's, and/or CL's must either live a lie and have a same age partner for show, or live alone and have people wonder what's wrong with them. We have no model for living our lives in any kind of accepted normalcy. Only recently, since the inception of the internet, have Exclusive CL's come to realize that they are not alone. Once we learn that others share our thoughts, feelings, challenges, frustrations, hopes and dreams, we can begin to formulate a model for living our lives in harmony, with both the greater society, and our true inner selves.

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