She is trying to get your attention, at least. It isn't clear to me whether she wants to go physical, or how far that would mean for her - but that is probably good, because it means you can more easily stop while still in the safe zone. This attention getting is what Kero mentioned sometime. She is testing her limits, with you in particular and men in general; testing her seductive ways, her attractiveness, your reactions. Let her test!

But it should be easy to stop her, too, well short of crossing lines, if she is aware of her surroundings:

** "Hey, aren't you concerned someone will come in and see you doing that?"

Ideally, with that she should realize that purely pragmatic reasons should dictate her not to do such things. But in case she still isn't concerned or says "they're all ok people to see me":

** "Yes, but that someone might think we're doing things we're not doing."

This opens up a new range of possibilities:

- In the best case, she might realize what you mean with that and why you mean it and moderate herself.

- She might realize what you mean but not why you mean it:
* "Well, 10 year-olds are not supposed to be doing things like that, so you might get in trouble. And (adults my age) aren't supposed to allow 10-year-olds to do things like that, so I might get in trouble too. Both ways we might not be able to see each other anymore, or not as much / as closely."

- She might probably realize why you mean it, but not exactly what you mean:
* "Well, things like that, like showing yourself, and wanting me to show too."

You do consider a good point:

Am I going to upset her by not giving her what she is trying to take from me?
Will she feel snubbed?

Probably.
It is always a risk.
However, it really isn't like you have much of a choice, or is it?

And here is where you have to reassure her and emphasize that it isn't that you don't like her and love her (quite the opposite, you like and love her very much), but that you have to stop it because of the possible consequences for her. It's not that you don't want to, it's that you cannot go further or continue like nothing can happen. There is a chance, of course, that she will confront you further and force you to admit you find her attractive. Don't lie to her. Admit that you do find her attractive. But also show her that (unfortunate as it can be a lot of times, and certainly for you two) you can't always act upon an attraction. An easy concept is people who are "taken" (whether married or just a relationship), and thus even if you're attracted, most of the times that means you can't act upon it. Another easy concept is sexual orientation differences: if you're attracted to someone who in turn isn't oriented towards you (whether you're a straight attracted to a gay or vice versa), you're also gonna have too few chances. (Of course, you know her and your context much better than I do; I say this because either example might be inappropriate to discuss with her. The point was to show how to begin with attractive≠active. In particular, too, unless you want to hurt either of the girls, she shouldn't feel that she is competing with your current older GF, and that would be a possible reaction to the "taken" analogy, eg).


Now, the most serious part.

This will depend on how aware she is of sex, of her environment, and of her effect on you; and on your dialogue if and when you explain to her that she would be wise to take it easier. She might, indeed, push it all the way: be aware that she has an effect on you, that she isn't supposed to do it and you not supposed to be aroused, and so on, and consciously be seeking to break the lines. If this is the case, she will push you during that dialogue to either admit you don't like her enough or twist your hand into accepting to do with her exactly what she wants, which might include crossing the lines. If she does it, then you will have to use The Pedo Talk on her. I know most of us, I think myself included, said you should still wait longer. But that was assuming a different context than this one. There is of course the chance that it would easily stop before that, and I hope it does, and my previous advice is aimed at trying to stop it with the least escalation possible. But if she insists, then it means she is making herself ready for The Pedo Talk.

The Pedo Talk, in essence, goes:

(After initial attempts to stop fail and she refuses all your attempts at stopping)
She: "But I want to keep doing this, and do more things with you!"
You: "Listen, I want to do more things with you too. I'd love to. But we have to wait. You are too young. I don't think you are too young (you just proved yourself mature enough) but other people would just because you're not 18 [or local aoc], and because of that they would have the power to stop us and split us and hurt you. And I don't want that to happen to you."

With that, bargain a de-escalation that makes you confident of three things: that she is being careful with what she does with you so nothing will ever take place that, if discovered, would get you both in trouble; that she knows you do/did enjoy her little shows even if you want her to stop; that, however, she is confident enough to tell you how she feels and what she wants in you, even if you don't let her do it.

But I have to say, that is a very narrow and dangerous path if you have The Pedo Talk. It will be easy to promise to wait for 6 or 8 years now that she is 10. But when she is a little older and starts going out on her own without parental supervision, she is probably going to try to get you in actual dates, and if she is daring enough, she is probably going to try to get you two to have sex while some friend gives her an alibi, at your home or a neutral place. And by the time she is 2 years short or less of the AOC many of her peers will be having sex, and she will know it, and even without that, she will also see less and less of a point in waiting the time left. If she's still into you after that time, she will be eager to manipulate you into crossing the line. On the other hand, if you're still together after all that time, it is also a bit more likely that you would probably have a safety network to fall into that would protect your relationship from intervention. But in any case, The Pedo Talk at 10 sets up a daunting mission, more so than The Pedo Talk at an older age, closer to the AOC. Hence the insistence that you try to talk her into de-escalating without having to spill all the beans.


And of course, I am assuming that you two are never left completely alone: that there is always someone else at home even if not in the same room; so that the privacy arguments and the discovery concerns are actually relevant for you two. If you two are ever left alone, however, God bless you! I wouldn't want to be in your shoes.