Minstrel,

>unless you're willing for the whole world to know about it

I pretty much am. I am still struggling with how to live a fulfilling life with the different roles I play: pedosexual, multisexual, husband, father, career, hobbies, free time. I have not found yet how to live in balance with those things. I don't do anything that's going to get me in trouble either.

Something big to me is, what if my son has this? He's 1 1/2 yo now. What kind of world is he coming into? He is very much like me in so many ways, I see myself in him. He has my stubborness, curiosity, outgoingness, recklessness, intelligence, moodiness. Pedophilia runs in my family. My grandfather was a pedophile and committed suicide when I was 17 due directly to accusations regarding molestation made against him. From things he told me (he knew I was a pedophile when I was about 14) I believe my great grandmother was a pedophile.

So it seems like it runs in my family. It could be environmental, but my gut tells me that's not it. You live with this thing so long, you have feelings about its origination, especially when you work through remembering things in your life, talking to people about them, understanding things. It feels like I was born this way. I see the roots of it early in my childhood. I never had a crush on the teacher, no curiosity about breasts in 5th grade.

So what would I tell my son in ten years when he discovers his sexuality, should he be like me? That I cowered in fear and stayed paralyzed with this? The thing that is critical though is that I be there for that.

>I don't understand why it was anyone's business that you were a
>pedophile regardless whetehr (sic) they had children or not

Because it is fair. If I had a cold I would tell them so they could avoid the risk of their children catching it. It protects me if they discover it after the fact, and make accusations against me. It is honest. It is a good way to live.

>I am also concerned about some of the wording, which has implicatons I
>strongly disagree with

As do I. I cannot come out and say what I believe, which is to the effect of "I don't think sex with children is wrong or harmful; I think a lot of things contribute to making it a harmful experience - some in the control of the pedophile and some not, such as society's feelings; I do not think a person can morally take that gamble with someone else's life"

I cannot word the letter the way I would want because of its audience. But I am rewriting it to take out the things you suggested.

Remo