First, I think there was another problem going on inside you. You said you were doing something you knew to be wrong (to you), but you were doing it anyway. I take that to mean you were sure it was something bad, and just giving in to strong urges. That would present a lot of mental/emotional stress, because your actions were not in line with your beliefs. I'm not trying to be Mr. Self-Help of the book section. I am just stating something practical. We can all argue our various beliefs and assertions, but in the end it also comes down to being loyal to our own higher self. For many that can mean their religion. For others it means conceptions of humanism. For others, it can be virtually anything. And who's to say who's actually right? We all have to go with what we believe is most correct, but then we have to act accordingly, which is inevitably better said than done.

It stuck out to me that you said "the fact that" kids aren't sexual. (Later you said it's "more" absent. I think it's pretty clear from studies and real life witnessed experiences that kids enjoy sexual stimulation and will even self-stimulate from an early age (varies from child to child). I had a girl of four do this to herself in my presence once. She was oblivious to my reaction and had not been molested. She was simply doing it because it felt good and likely made her relax. She didn't yet know it was bad to do in front of people (social norms).

I, on the other hand, was probably 13 or so before I ever did this, although I did have very early mutually desired experiences with girls around my own age long before that. The point being, all kids are different, and their lack of understanding around the meaning of sex and sexual pleasure does not by itself mean they are not yet sexual. It only means that they don't understand what social meanings and demands society has built around the pleasurable feelings which they have often discovered much sooner on their own, or with someone else.

You've arrived at a place that feels right/best for you. There are likely some that are drawn to your own experience, and others who aren't.

In reference to the title of my post, I am very curious to see the social results of many young kids now being taught about sex and sexuality in their schools, at least in the US and UK. I have a lot of intense reservations about that and have not been shy about expressing them. I am most concerned about kids becoming political pawns and molded soldiers for agendas, especially in the realm of adults trying to redefine children in terms of gender and preference so very long before puberty. It is an absolute affront to not simply allow them to develop on their own and see who they become, apart from adult wishes.

That is highly disturbing to me. Teaching them biology and why they get intense physical feelings and that sometimes adults want to do things with them and that they have the autonomy over their own body to reject advances that don't feel right.. is not.

Whether we agree or not (or are somewhere in between), that notion of whether kids are naturally sexual or strictly being groomed, is going to provided a whole lot more insight soon enough. I just hope for the best for kids, not political goals, global takeover goals, or even for the sake of the sexual urges we have that are part of the larger whole you speak of.

Fingers crossed.