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And yet more explanations :-)

Posted by Dissident on Sunday, January 16 2022 at 04:45:13AM
In reply to Well, thanks for bringing me up to speed then. posted by Eeyore on Sunday, January 16 2022 at 03:04:44AM

I think I know what you are referring to, but you also have to remember some people are just obsessed with other topics or for some reason very invested in them, no pun intended.

Yes, but suddenly becoming obsessed in a hostile way with a long-time friend to the point of starting non-stop arguments that they know, from much experience, is going to inevitably turn ugly with all the usual name-calling, and to the point of ignoring debates I'm having with ideologues on the board that we have been traditionally united against? As I also noted, arguments about economics are very difficult to have in an affable manner if they are allowed to go on for a prolonged period of time. It's especially difficult for me to conduct and maintain a friendly composure on a topic where I'm constantly accused of supporting awful things that I don't because during the past 120 years a few asshole dictators decided to call themselves a "socialist" or a "Marxist", or because the SJWs are now claiming fealty to both (which is a total joke), or when I'm told (yet again!), "do you realize you're supporting something that killed millions of people, Dissy?" I do not expect them to like or support my ideology, but they know damn well that it's a common political tactic for people, or organizations, or entire governments, etc., to adopt or hijack certain terms to look good to some group of people despite having nothing to do with the original, classical formulation of said term or ideology.

That is the equivalent of my returning to the board after a prolonged absence, see my old friend Dante here, and suddenly decides to have non-stop, very aggressive debates with him about atheism when I am well aware ahead of time how that is going to turn out. I know that I'm not going to convince him of my side, and that he's not going to convince him, and that it's going to get very heated, which will lead to many nasty insults and personal attacks that could potentially ruin our friendship and mutual respect for each other. And, further, which most people on this board are not going to have much interest in seeing, and do not want to see people they respect fractioning the board with off-topic fights. So, why would I do it? What purpose would it serve other than simply to vent on a friend for having a difference of opinion about something that irks me? Why not save the energy and potential vitriol for people whom I effectively have virtually no common ground of any kind with instead? As in, people who are not a long-time friend so that you have no friendship to lose when the personal attacks and insults start?

Also some are dealing with life issues. I've had my own.

I have too. Believe me, I have. But taking them out on others, i.e., venting on those who are not responsible for those issues instead of coming to them for support, especially when those people are your friends, is both mean-spirited and wrong. Being far from perfect myself, I have to admit that I have done that myself in the past, but I've always apologized and felt bad about it afterwards instead of just whining about how that person's expected retaliation hurt me worse. As I've told you for years and years, Eeyore, if you attack someone, or someone attacks you, then they need to expect to get hit back, so to speak. You cannot expect to just hit someone, especially not an innocent, repeatedly and expect them to just take it. If you do that, you just become an enabler for that person, and they have no incentive to heal or try dealing with that issue in a more constructive way. In fact, that is the entire basis of the Victimology fad that all of us pro-choicers have been decrying since as long as I can remember in this community. We need to be mindful that we, too, are human and can thus fall into that trap.

If a friend or anyone else has an issue, whether it's with me personally or not, then I ask them to talk to me about it instead of attacking me or others. Remember how you and I once resolved a serious issue that kept us from being friends for a few years when we stopped fighting about it and actually went into private chat and talked it over for a while? Didn't an hour of that get better results than a few years of mutual hostility? If venting on others is how anyone deals with their problems, then they have a serious issue that needs to be addressed, possibly with a counselor, and to admit this fact to themselves. If the behavior is due to substance abuse, then they need to take that into account and realize they have a problem. And yes, I do think substance abuse/addiction is a problem if it results in frequent hostile behavior patterns that hurt other people. I am not against recreational drug use, including consumption of alcohol, and I think pretty much all drug use should be legal; but I do hold people personally responsible for any aberrant behavior they may engage in as a result. I have no issues with recreational drug users I know who are "fun drunks" etc., and do no harm to others or themselves when they are under the influence.

Come chat some Saturday evening! Don't be a stranger, old friend.<3

I totally plan to :-)


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