"minor-attracted" has value

The word pedophile is a punchline in popular culture. People who have been exposed to minor-attracted know that it's just another word for the same thing, because it's not meant to hide the truth. But some people haven't heard it yet, and it causes them to pause and think for a moment before making their judgment. That moment is valuable. Someday it may be worthwhile to reclaim the term pedophile, when we have a modicum of sympathy. And there's nothing wrong with using it among ourselves. But in the meantime, if you can say the same thing minus the knee-jerk stigma associated with a well-known term that's been dragged through the mud for years, don't thumb your nose at that opportunity.

If people decide to hate you more because you tried to "trick" them into thinking you're something other than what they think you are (which is what you're really doing anyway, right? Pedophiles aren't monsters), they were going to hate you when they figured it out anyway, so who cares? At least it shows that you have respect for yourself, and you expect respect from others, whether they're prepared to give it to you or not.

I'm not saying one approach is better than the other. But that's my point. One approach isn't better than another. Use whatever suits you. I prefer girl lover, because it's accurately descriptive, while being just vague enough (as long as you don't prefix it with the word little), and it avoids both the clinical feel of minor-attracted as well as the stigma of pedophile.