When you have a job where you deal with children then coming out of the toybox is not only reckless but also potentially dangerous. The only pedophiles I know that have come out are those who don't have that much in the pot. Either they have dedicated themselves to strictly political activism or they've become "virpeds" who decided to banish themselves away from children.
Yes. I've understood and acknowledged for a long time now that not all MAPs are in a position to come out of the toybox in the political climate that has pervaded over the past 40 years. That is why, IMO, as many of us who can do so should consider it, after some careful deliberations regarding their personal lives since it is still a big risk (varying from person to person) and will entail some heavy sacrifices. Among those sacrifices are never being able to even have platonic friendships with younger people, and having to avoid all regular contact with them, not to mention suffer regular attacks and threats from the social media mob.
Some MAPs who have chosen to stay in the toybox I have known explained disdain for "activists" like me because they felt we are better off staying in the toybox and being allowed platonic friendships with youths in our age and gender of attraction so we can enrich their lives on that limited but poignant basis, and that these friendships were also essential to their own emotional well-being. They feel being "out" for the purpose of activism and to help give a human face to the MAP community was not worth what the friendships with young people they would lose as a result. I can understand this, but I still believe it was a grave tactical error on the part of the MAP community as a whole to go into collective hiding once the pedo panic started. As a result, more than two subsequent generations of MAPs have had to bear that cost.
I would be one of those activist types you mentioned. Having a thick skin due to having been hated for being 'nerdy' and different since long before I realized I was a hebephile in my mid-20s, being hated for not being part of the accepted norm wasn't new territory to me. I understand that other MAPs who grew up more or less accepted by the status quo and who had no major qualms with it are more likely to want to stay in the toybox, not risk losing the respect they had gained from polite society, and were also more likely to become anti-contact "virpeds". Even if they did not become the latter, however, they would me more likely to stay safely inside the toybox.
Anyway my post was never intended for non-exlusives and I guess I should have made that clear. Non-exclusives live in a different world where the can have their adult romances and have their little minor attraction on the side. For them I guess it's no big deal. But for exclusives our pedophilia is a huge part of us that we constantly have to keep hidden.
I do understand this. Speaking as a MAP whose attraction thankfully extend upwards into the territory of legal adult women, I can say, however, that it is still a big deal, even if not as much of a big deal as it is for exclusives. That is because, as in my case, our preference still often lies for younger girls rather than young legal adult women, so our romances with adults are generally still a case of having to settle for second best. There is a whole demographic we would love to date and associate with socially on many levels that, for the most part, we are completely denied all meaningful contact with.
Also, I am among the non-exclusives whose attraction base does not extend to adult women in my own age group (middle-aged), but only to young women aged 18-early 30s, with a preference for the younger side of that. Such relationships are legal, but as you know there is still great stigma attached to them, as even (and sometimes especially) the liberal elements of society pathologizes such legal but age disparate relationships. Hence, it could be very difficult to find even legal younger partners depending on where you live and how naturally attractive you are, many of their peers will not accept you, and older women who know of the relationship (especially their parents) will become resentful, hateful, and suspicious of your motives.
So, many of us still yearn for the relationships we wish we could have while settling for what we can have (even when we do find genuine love), and our legal relationships usually have these additional elements of hardship and drama attached to them if our partners are still much younger despite being legally allowed to consent.