Ahem... Hi! You might remember me from almost 20 years ago. I'm still alive, still stealthy. For those who don't know, I'm a male around the brink of 40 these days, from Europe.

Last time I was here I was completely deranged getting separated from my LGF, but that was very long time ago. And now I'm in deep shit. Not really, but in my mind - yes. For a long time, I thought I was actually a hebe, not a pedo (though, of course - I have nothing against pedos - I wouldn't be here otherwise; though, again, I see a "sigpic" option and that will probably prove me wrong). And now, that I'm getting so old, a beautiful, gorgeous, I'm at loss of words girl comes into my life. A nine year old daughter of a friend.

I trained myself not to get to close to kids, but this one kept pushing on. Getting more and more friendly until she declared me her best friend (while her friends of same age teased her of being in love with me). Her parents leave us alone quite often, and I'm the default "babysitter".

Nothing really happens during that time, but we talk, listen to the music that she likes, she occasionally sits in my lap for a while, but I do not respond in any (visible) way. It's just the torture of being in love (oh, I fell in love with her) and not being able to speak to anyone, tell them how it hurts.

So, this was just a long rant to say "hello" to anyone who might remember me. And to all new members as well. I don't know if I want this to get posted or not, I typed all of this before even checking if I still remember my password. I'm clicking "Post", and right now I'm not sure if I want this here or not.