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Excuse my bipolarity... I'm an MAP again!

Posted by GL_in_lyrics on Saturday, August 15 2020 at 00:29:48AM

Well... many MAPs I spoke to were correct it turns out. I was in denial. Or so it seems. I'm still an MAP!

I think I was missing LGs. Now I'm feeling great, being in love with them again. It just seems I go through so many phases. I can't imagine what I would be like if I was on zero medication. Well... some of you could ;-)

So... I'm still not feeling as strongly about this topic as I once did. That's just how I currently feel. However, I'm NOT anti-contact. I just think rape is probably a bigger deal than I originally said it was, but I certainly don't want to see two people who fall in love be persecuted. And adults, and children, can definitely fall in love, even with each other!

But my fear is how sensitive children are, specifically their physical sensitivity. Especially LGs. I have a foreskin, I'm male, and it was *extremely* sensitive when I was a child. Even up against a male with foreskin, females are supposed to have much more nerve endings than any male. It just is awkward for me to imagine LGs getting damaged from physical sexual contact. It makes it even more awkward for me when a pretty damn big part of my fantasies involve an LG stimulating my penis in various ways. And part of me feels like only a tiny small fraction of LGs would be okay with that.

I'm still on that medication which is commonly used to treat sex offenders, btw. I do factor that into some of my feelings. Age too. And just general boredom with life. Maybe I needed a break from minor-attraction? But women can only go so far in filling the void. I do sometimes wonder if my minor-attraction isn't partly due to depression. That, and I firmly believe that my own mother scared me away from women by teaching me to hate them via preaching disrespect and disdain for males. I've feared women most of my life, especially the woman that feminism tries to portray.

I don't know if I will still plan to seek out an adult GF. I'm not feeling that strongly about that, or losing my virginity. I'd rather enjoy the beauty of LGs, legally, however lame that can be. What scares me most about a potential woman for a GF is that if I were to lose my virginity, I might become addicted to pussy, and do, say, or believe anything - including vile, toxic feminism - just to please my partner.

Sorry for saying that most of us are severely mentally ill. But, it's true. However, it very well could be that this is due to the oppression we face. After all, most of us have been oppressed in some way, especially in a sexual form, since our childhoods. There are many things to consider here. But the only thing I'm sure of is: MAPs, Antis, parents, and children all need to learn how to get along with each other.

Right now I don't think an AOC of 14 is ideal. It's discriminatory towards a pretty big percentage of humanity's population. However, it may be borderline the best that can ever be agreed upon.

I said a few weeks ago that "truth does not change with the moment", and here I am contradicting my previous thoughts as usual. But there are some things I hope to never budge on. I'm also bipolar af. Keep in mind how confusing the world is at this time in history. Big things are definitely happening.

- GL_in_lyrics

(PS: I might continue to post. I might be back :-)

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