OK I will start by the main point of your post; the evolution from a pro contact position.
I'm still pro contact.
But I've come to realize three things which have made me comfortable with the VP position.
1. Legalization will probably not happen in our lifetimes. So devoting energy to it both distracts us from other things we could be doing for ourselves and for kids and may not be the best for us psychologically speaking, on which I agree fully with you.
2. As you say, Girls are close to us more because of how we treat them than because they are attracted to us. Obviously a lot of it is social, as they are not expecting to enter a romantic or sexual relationship with an adult; and in societies where that is an expectation this will be different. But we are not doing them any good service by interpreting their closeness to us as romantic, erotic and sexual attraction. Of course even in this society sometimes it is; but overwhelmingly it is not. And we would do better for us and for them alike if we understand this. (Footnote: I think this mistake is even more common among BLs, as most boys are not gay. But that doesn't mean it isn't an issue for us too.)
3. Because we can't legally have sex and because it's even unlikely that she wants to, whether or not it's legal; we truly are setting ourselves up for heartbreak and depression. And we are probably going to blame them for it. Sorry but none of this is fair or good to either us or them. Again, we should understand it before we want to engage in even social relationships with Girls.
All of these points make me understand VP people better, even if theoretically I do want contact, and I don't believe it is inherently harmful; and yes, society is 99% of why it is harmful. (I'm talking about consensual of course; forced and coerced, not so much, though even there society makes it worse than it should be; and I personally know that [from hearsay: not from breaking the law myself ])
On to the rest:
* I've wondered that myself, how we seem to have more in common than anyone could think possible. Hugs!
* I'm a little humbled and blushing that you say that I have more experience with Girls or women than most of GC combined. Honestly I probably do more than most; but you're exaggerating somewhat too. Still I consider those to be words of praise. And even though it has led me to heartbreak and to the temptation to cross the line, yes, it also has led me to better understand how Girls and women are. I see many people on GC (and outside, including many who are no pedos at all) idealize Girls and boys in ways that just don't fit reality. A lot of that is that they have not been in social contact with enough of them. I understand that this somewhat contradicts my other statement that it's not always a good idea to approach children; but the reasons for each argument are different: one is about the features of the potential relationships and another about our perceptions of their characters.
* I'm surprised that your minor attraction vanished. But if it works for you, I'm glad for you.
* It's an outrage that you deleted your models collection! Of course again if it works for you, I'm glad for you. But even if you don't have a use for it as a pedo, it's an archival treasure trove which you could probably have sold for handsome money in some 15 or 20 years. Honestly since I don't currently have a desktop or laptop computer I'm not seeing my collection anymore either and I'm not even downloading many celeb or socnet pics anymore. So I am a little with you on this; but I doubt I would ever delete or throw away my collection. I'm not asking you to have had it sent to me either; not all our tastes were the same, though many were.
* I don't think you overstate the damage society does to lonely children. But I don't see legal contact as the magic bullet against this either. This is clearly a VP like position too.
* I do believe that our high rates of mental illness are due to oppression. But again, legal contact isn't a magic bullet. A more realistic approach at the moment is in some ways to accept how society is. I'm not saying to be complicit to actual antis. I'm saying your life will be better if you are not betting all your chips on society changing tomorrow.
* I basically agree with your first idea of a new AOC: no fixed AOC, just parental agreement. In the case of children with non parental guardians, agreement from those. In the case of children without guardians at all, only the child can place a complaint. This has been my ideal world for a lot of time, and I truly think this will be the way out. What has happened is that now the timeframe I'm expecting is much longer.
* Other than rape (and I do think BDSM is rape, btw) KP should be legal. But again it's unlikely tnat KP will be legal before contact itself is. Footnote: drawn KP and written KP definitely should be legal today. And model pics or generally pics of children, even nude, and even accumulated (for instance you could have your 800GB pics from socnets and celebs) with no sexual activity featured should also definitely be legal today. It makes no sense that these are not legal, even if you believed in the voodoo theory of sexually explicit KP.
* I think society is doing most of the harm, by far. I just don't see society changing for the better anymore in a short time frame.
* Circumcision is worse than rape because it's permanent and because people who perform it don't see it as abusive. (While usually rapists know they are abusive; they just don't care). And yes, society makes rape worse than it is, particularly with children. But all sorts of assault are wrong. We agree on this I think.
I'm super glad that you came back.
You know where to contact me off board if ever you want to.
I would like it, even if you're not really a pedo anymore I would appreciate your views on the stuff happening around me.
But of course it's your choice and either way I will always respect it.