my half asleep mind tells me I’m going to die
I'm going to repeat myself myself. (Lol.) Tomorrow is promised to no one.
Live while you can. To hell with prognostications and possible permutations of combinations of things that go bump in the night. Stop and smell the roses. Contemplate the growing grass; why is it there? Hell, for that matter, contemplate your own navel. Put good things in your life that YOU want there. Keep the bad things in your life away as best you can but don't obsess.
Enjoy the friendship of others and we (I) will enjoy friendship with you.