...the messages so carelessly.

I read the messages carelessly because I have been around so long that I don't have much interest in anything.

Right now I suffer from extremely long nights. I know I MUST start pondering on some new ideas, otherwise -- I simply go crazy.

But I must not think of the old ideas, because then I would notice some mistakes, and I would get extremely pissed off, because I have no chance to correct them any more.

I don't care if someone understood this message. I am spending an extremely long night.