I think she actually expected a real marriage. I think she expected to go home with him and be his legit wife.

I suspect this to be where you're misunderstanding the problem. I mean, from my prospective, it seems that you don't understand Her. She's a four old little human body and super-absorbent knowledge-hungry mind. Assuming She is a normal little girl, She understands the idea of what a word is in print — and that words and sentences are read from left to right. She already holds a book correctly and turns pages front to back. She has memorized some favorite books and can recite them along with you. She knows some upper- and lowercase letters, and understands that letters stand for sounds (“B makes the buh sound”). She can recognize Her name and some familiar words on signs (such as “stop”. Some fully grown adults apparently can't understand that sign!) So, too, She can identify whether or not two words rhyme, or whether they start with the same sound. In four short years, She has a vocabulary of about 1,500 words and shows a very strong interest in learning and using new words.

All that isn't even getting into the depths of Her emotions. We can't really know the actual circumstances surrounding the little girl's experiences, thoughts, desires and fears. But, for the sake of this conversation, we can make some generalizations. (She's not 5 foot, 10 inches tall. She hasn't learned what the cube root of one million is. She hasn't gotten that far... yet.)

At four years old, She still has difficulty sharing but is beginning to understand taking turns. She wants to please friends (including Her male nurse.) Being a normal little kid, She may be quick to get angry but tries to control it or express it through words. (I know some full grown adults that don't have that down yet.) Sure, She knows what tasks are expected but may lose focus on following through, but She is hard-wired to stay focused only for a short time because She has so much stuff to get into Her super-absorbent mind.

But, what are Her life goals, feelings, hopes, and dreams, desires, and wants? Does She understand what death is? (Do you? We can debate that in a different thread, if you like.) She has an incredible ability to put things together. She can listen to details and retell a story including acknowledging whether it is fiction or fact. (The problem then becomes one of serious consequences when someone She trusts tells Her that a lie is actual truth. Ain't that right, Santa Claus?) This brings us to why I am making this reply to you. (As a friend, Lemondolphin. I am just debating, okay?)

Marriage; does She know that real marriage usually includes sexual intercourse? No. She doesn't know what sexual intercourse is, just as she doesn't know that 100 is the cube root of one million. It's just not something that has occurred to Her. Yet. She's just four years old. Is She sexually attracted to Her male nurse? No. Does She expect to go home with him? Well, again, assuming She is a normal little girl that is wrestling with a possibly rapidly approaching death, She probably doubts that She'll even go home with Her parents. The video suggests a rather promising outlook, but for the sake of this discussion, let's assume that She has only a short time left in Her life. No, I'm sure She would not expect to go home with Her male nurse for sexual intercourse or even a pizza lunch.

Legitimacy in marriage. God, what a mess that brings into this. And, here in Canada, it gets even more strange. We have common-law marriages (complete with tax implications and legal separations if/when that comes about.) I am legally married to Mrs. Gimwinkle Three, but Mrs. Gimwinkle Two and I were common-law married. Yet, in the eyes of Canadian Society, it was basically (commonly) the same. (Of course, in the legit marriage between Mrs. Gimwinkle Three and me, we have to go to the local government to divorce just as we had to go to the government to get married in the first place.) Do you think our little four-year-old understands any of this? Do you think the adults assumed that She did, in fact, know all this? Do you still think the adults were tricking Her for their own grins and giggles? Of course, yes, the little girl was serious. The adults knew that. But they also knew the level of understanding, the level of emotions, the reasons for Her love of Her nurse. And, to include as much of life as possible into Her shortening time, this "marriage" was given to Her. Nobody there expected sexual intercourse in a truly legitimate marriage. The little girl probably saw a wedding ceremony and all the attention the bride and groom were getting and wanted to include some of that in Her life.

Finally, stepping back in the discussion a bit, does She understand what death is? I doubt it. Does She understand that She is sick? Sure. Does She know that She is going to get worse? I think they probably told Her but distracted Her with positive ideas. Will She be going up into the sky to see that grey bearded God, Grandma and Grandpa, and Fluffy the family cat? That's probably what Her parents told Her if they tried to explain Her own mortality.

Would you tell Her about that grey bearded God and Fluffy? Or, would you tell Her the truth that She was going to END. To no longer exist. Would you tell Her that Her life was going to be just like the ending of th..........