I maintain what I said in that she would never know that I was trying to initiate the finger ritual.

You're still missing the point. It's not whether or not she understands that you manipulated her to get what you want, it's the fact that you're doing it at all.

You want her to suck on your finger, and you know if you pat her mouth with your finger and make this "pop" noise that she'll "wake up" and realize she wants to do it (I also find this dubious, because if she really wanted to do it so bad, she would not need to be reminded by you).

To her she takes the pop for what it is, but then a second later you can see *her* face light up as *she* thinks she's remembered something she likes, and then grabs my finger.

You do not know what she is thinking, nor can you be sure she is doing it for herself. She knows that you like it and touching her mouth and making a "pop" sound is still asking her indirectly.

That is the behavior that I have a problem with. I think she does know what you want when you do this, and she is doing it to make you happy (again we do not know, since we cannot read minds). But that is just not the same as sitting with her quietly and then having her reach over and grab your hand and start sucking on your finger.

I still stand by what I said. You are directly manipulating the situation to get her to do something that you want.

In and of itself, this isn't really a horrible thing you're doing, but it could turn into a bad pattern. It's simply not a good idea to manipulate a child into doing something that you want from them. I am glad you said you won't do that anymore.

The children must lead (but that doesn't mean we must follow, especially if they want illegal things - as per your other reply to me).

I think you've gotten me to write more replies in a few hours than I have in weeks. Congratulations! ;)

Kero