Would you believe you aren't the first young woman to come to GC with this problem?

What I told her was that it seems your stuck in an infinite regression of introspective angst. You feel bad for feeling bad for......

But I believe that you are defined by your actions, not by unexpressed fantasies.

Many Peds struggle with fantasies. But the struggle need not be a struggle when you know that you'll never act on it.

In Zen meditation one is supposed to clear one's mind of all the thoughts that pop into it. At first thats a seemingly impossible task. A thought arrives, followed immediately by noticing its arrival; which is another thought. The only way to clear one's mind is by not caring so much that thoughts arrive. This diminishes their ability to consume the mind.

You know who you are. You know that you're not that person. You're OK.

If you were going to get treatment, it might be OCD that you're dealing with here. I'm no expert. But your predecessor found her problem to be a symptom of OCD.

Dante