Hi

Firstly, the SOTP in the UK does seem to differ from what you have experienced in the USA so I can't really comment on your experiences. I am sure the programme here could be improved a lot, and I am not sure that CBT alone without some more intensive one-to-one counselling of the right sort is the correct approach. I noticed that lack of empathy was one of the factors common to many offences and fortunately for me I was not one of those lacking as my previous experiences had catered for that. I certainly was lacking in empathy at one stage so I could recognise it in others. I think the connection between thoughts and feelings is crucial here. If you have any true feelings towards children then you know that you could never harm them. When issues like CP and prostitution are raised it is almost automatic that you see the abuse and you don't require evidence for your feelings (although I have sufficient real evidence for my feelings). This is one of the problems here at GC, for some there is just no connection between their thoughts and their feelings and they can justify anything based on their thoughts and rationality alone.

The aim of the programme here in the UK, as far as I was aware, was to control the behaviour of the offenders and lessen the chances of offending (of whatever sort) happening again, not eliminate the desires entirely as this may not be possible. I didn't get the feelings of negativity that you described, only an imperative that we took ownership of our thoughts and actions which resulted in the offending. The atmosphere was mainly constructive with people trying to understand each other's experiences and views and helping where they could. I have said I have no bad feelings towards the counsellors, this also goes for the other offenders too, even those I disliked. I may have had some residual hesitation to accept the view of pedophilia that I had (that it was mostly harmful) but mostly I didn't need convincing from those on the course. My first post here (how embarrassing!) and its defence, was the trigger that united my feelings with my thoughts I think, that is when I realised that yes I did indeed believe most of the things I wrote about.

I think the rate of recidivism here in the UK is better than without the programme and only a few out of about 20 or so actually were recalled, and not necessarily for similar offences. It was a quite mixed group but there were several having similar offences to myself.

The problem of whether an offender should be on such programmes if they are never likely to change their views is mostly dealt with on selection. It will always be a problem because of the nature of pedophilia, it is a very powerful orientation or sexual desire to have. The main reason why many people are unable to change and resist therapy is because they will cling on to their view that it is not wrong and that it is a natural if unusual orientation. I did not have this view as I have said before and regarded my sexual attraction to children as a burden. The attraction to children is quite normal, I just don't want or see the need for the sexual part, it is mostly damaging to myself and to children if acted on. And it did get in the way of my forming decent relationships with adult females - in fact this was one reason why it came about in the first place, my lack of success.

I can understand your feelings that it is not wrong to have these feelings towards children. It must be particularly evident when you have had them since childhood, I didn't. I can trace their origin and I am quite happy to see the attraction recede, with a modicum of success. I know the way I feel now and interact with others and it is a vast improvement over my former life. Many of the thoughts and feelings I have seen expressed here at GC have been mine also in the past but not now. I am generally at peace with myself and most importantly with the rest of the world, I have no self-loathing or any animosity towards anyone else. I do not have the motivations anymore to commit further offences which is the main thing for me. I should add that this has been a long process and the SOTP was only a small part in the whole. It had an effect, but not necessarily on my thinking towards pedophilia, which were mostly formed already.

Moth