It isn't a grey area. You're just battling more than two (or one) decades of socialization, upbringing, bias, etc.

I should be more patient. You are literally going exactly through exactly what I did.

I remember calling a girl a whore because she was 14 and wearing somewhat revealing clothing. If a child masturbated I insisted they must have been abused.

I probably have little patience because I have little patience with my past self. Even though I completely understand now that I think about it.

Meh, anyway in reality it isn't a huge grey area. Society has made it unnaturally so and it can be made much simpler again and it will be one day.