I appreciate your comments. Particular to the letter, Rahkma's suggestion on rewording and the advice by a couple to remove the AoC gritty details is very constructive. I am doing that.

I am going to send the letter. The problem is, everyone is going to know regardless of if I send it or not. I would rather at least have my side heard. They are using the word child molestor to refer to me, and think all kinds of terrible things because the person who told everyone apparently thought that.

There is some urgency to it. My wife and I have had pleasant times the past few weeks looking for ideas and talking about our halloween costumes. We have a big annual halloween party coming up, haunted house the whole bit, we are talking about dressing up in a pirates of the caribbean theme and putting the baby in black with felt bones, to be a skeleton. This party is ALL of these people. Do I know where I stand before I walk in the door? Is my invitation revoked - something that's NEVER happened - because they made decisions on inflammatory gossip? I can't spend the evening there with every thought in the back of my mind... what does this person think? What if I get ran out the door?

And parties / social gatherings in between...

haze -

>it seems to me that you're coming out to the wrong people!

It is my friends, right or wrong.

BB -

>Hold your head high and feel no shame! You have nothing to be ashamed of
>and damn them all to Hell if they try to shame you!

BB, you have meant a lot to me with the unabashed confidence that we're ok. You have helped me a lot.

Dragonslayer -

>don't masterbate at a party!! Can't you wait till you get
>home? And what are you doing carrying around pictures like that?

Young, dumb, full of cum. I was 17 years old, wasted drunk and on narcotics at a high school party. In the bathroom there was a framed photograph of the host's little sister, the naked bath tub kind and showing a lot of stuff you don't usually see in that picture. I had locked the door. The host (a pretty decent female friend) picked the bathroom door and walked in, I didn't even hear the door open. I was sitting on the toilet with the picture in my hand and ....

>You got beat cause you are just plain stupid, my friend, not cause you
>are a pedophile.

My friend, living with this is hell for you and I, I would imagine. You don't have it any easier than me except for different details. I'm sorry that is true for all of us. It is a hard life. I have made ignorant mistakes in my life certainly. Would you have reacted different in the bathroom, if the circumstances fit you? Would you trust a catholic priest (who are commissioned officers in the army) who sought you out because you were having such a difficult time, suicidal feelings etc., and encouraged you to talk to him? He stabbed me in the back.

Seamus -

>B) Keep your mouth shut, and

That is not me my friend. The one time I came out by choice - to EVERYONE when I was 23 or so, was a mixed blessing. I would probably do it again. That Christmas was one of the nicest of my life - me and my room mates decorated out the house and tree, and EVERYONE there knew fully who I was and loved me. A friend who was an excellent artist painted a pedophilia-themed mural for me with a nude LG angel in the middle. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. There were a couple ignorant people that caused me problems, but I would probably make that trade again. It was worth it.

I came out to my LGF's mother at that time. At first she thought I was trying to tell her I was gay because I had trouble getting it out. My LGF was ten and we had spent tons of time together the previous two years. We were very close. After she had digested it, LGF's mother told me that she didn't want me to ever break ties with the girl because her father had abandoned her and mother was afraid it would have that feeling to her again. She told me where her limits were as far as my contact with her daughter (I could put her to bed, but not rub her back while doing it, etc.) It was worth it. That was such a hugely difficult thing to do.

>If one of those people is vindictive

I do not particularly think someone in that crowd will be, my point of putting that in is because -it very well could happen- . Everytime you tell you take that risk. Do you face up to it like a man/woman and live in the light? Or stay in the shadows and suffer? It is good to put that out there so people will consider their actions more completely.

>Just for starters, imagine your employer getting a copy of that letter.
>Or some of the neighbors.

My neighbors know, a consequence of my CP conviction. People were more irritated by me not cutting the grass than that information. If I worked in any way with children, it would change what I would do. Just as likely one of those people would call an employer because they would know what I do for a living. Anyway I'm self employed and it doesn't really matter who knows due to the nature of my work.

>How many more times must you get your ass kicked before you learn to
>shut up? The next time they may kill you, or maim you terribly.

They may kill or maim me, or you, or anyone of us who is pedosexual. There is a level of violence and hatred directed at us that is completely irrational. I can take a pretty good ass kicking, it's not the end of the world - ten or fifteen minutes it's over, you hurt, the sun still comes up. I encourage any pedosexual: DO NOT BE AFRAID OF PHYSICAL VIOLENCE AGAINST YOU. I am not saying set yourself up for it, just don't fear it. You will survive.

I have not learned to shut up. I will never learn to shut up. I will keep taking well-thought-out risks and suffer the consequences and rewards. I have lived with this a long time my friend. It aged me faster than my non-pedo peers. Fuck shutting up and sucking it in, unless you are a teacher or something of that nature and your position requires it.

>You should consider counseling

I have had extensive counseling in my life. It helped a lot. It didn't change the fact that I am a pedosexual person living in a world that hates me for being who I am.

Nowhere Man -

>On some level I admire the fact Remo has the balls to keep doing this.

I sincerely thank you for that encouragement.

RalphRaven -

>i will never tell anyone i am a pedophile

Risk & reward, the bigger the gamble the bigger the payoff or harsher the consequence. I would never think someone should, or should not, tell someone. It is a powerfully soul-tingling experience, fear - excitement all wrapped up in a moment. If someone were to kill or maim me for it, I couldn't bear the consequences it's true. I don't think straight people understand the magnitude of what it is to tell someone that I'm a pedophile. I risk the ultimate consequence - someone killing me simply for who I am. That is a very unlikely outcome, but there nonetheless.

Take your paycheck to a poker game and see if you have the stomach for it. Gamble your next month's rent/mortgage money, it will teach you about your true nature.

turtle, co, child beauty, tamachan, strawberry, others... thank you for your support.

Remo