Warning to Girl Boards: do not trust "John Doe 36"

"Slick Steamboat Willy" could be another alias, according to my intelligence sources.

Not to be confused with our past johndoe420, sometimes known as jd420.

I'm being told this other person is publicly hostile to girl love while secretly engaging in it himself (the absolute and ultimate worst of unforgivable betrayal). He once signed legislation, which he believed that he himself would always be immune to. Be on the lookout for him.

He is said to be a former Rhodes Scholar with a love for french fries, and might also be a cigar afficianado. Do not fall for his trademark psych-out to win your trust and agreement, which is a covert thumbs-up sign.

Do, however, take pause to consider some slight sympathy for him anyway, considering what dice he rolled for the sake of his career in marriage.

"Ohh, what a tangled web we wove." (Something surely rhymes with wove.)

Don't even get me started on the other Bill. That could churn out a hush money sum in the billions for creative prospectors. But meh, what do I know.