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Update: broke down & made a card table purchase:(

Posted by Eeyore on Tuesday, April 11 2023 at 03:31:53AM
In reply to Ongoing Existential Dilemma Over GirlScout Cookies posted by Eeyore on Saturday, April 08 2023 at 8:35:06PM

Well that turned out to be timely.

So after that other post, I saw another girl with, I assumed, her mom. I only caught a glance of "girl scout" (if indeed that was her true title) as I raced into the store out of the rain. I thought wow, these must be some real troopers selling cookies on such a crappie day. Well that's rather commendable, and I smiled inside. I checked my wallet to see if I had cash. (Coincidentally I caught a glance of a thick mop of long blond hair as I walked past too, which I swear had nothing to do with any decision about anything).

So I make my purchase, and to not be a fumbling fool, I pull out a fiver and five more singles before exiting, just so I'm ready. Some other middle aged dude had just made a purchase, but I am sad to see only three option of cookie on the card table.

Not to give myself away, I stay focused only on mom. "Uh... do you have trefoils?" It came out a little more awkward than I'd expected.

Mom says "No, we only have these."

Single older dude that I am, I am still playing it cool, but "girl scout" suddenly seems awfully tiny in my peripheral, or whatever word means behind the object at hand.

I spot what appear to be similar to those striped chocolate keebler cookies I used to make mom buy when I was a kid.

Mom says, "oh, and did you know those are set to be discontinued after this year?"

(Curve ball!) "Ohh, well... that's cool?"

*Awkward length of silence*

I finally see "girl scout" but carefully won't give too many descriptive details for obvious reasons. The age number in my head rolls as I see her hands on a box of the cookies, but looking around passively, as her tongue rolls around under her bottom lip. The age of this girl in my head lands on "probably not yet even 5."

I am perplexed, but I ask "mom" (who now suddenly, I realize, seems to look nothing at all like her daughter), how much are they?

"Six dollars." I'm too busy trying to figure this scene out to be put off by the price. I put my hand out between them with the money. Nobody reaches for it. More awkwardness. I look to daughter, who is still oblivious and holding my cookie box with her tongue licking below her lower lip with no eye contact. I look at 30-ish mom who looks even less like her daughter now. She's distracted as well, no eye contact.

Back to daughter? Nope. Nothing.

Back to mom? Oh, she's back now. She takes my cash and stuffs it into her jacket. Alittle strange way to handle money, but good, now we're getting somewhere. I look back to daughter, who has completely missed the transaction cue.

Now I'm uncomfortable.

I look back to mom who now looks *absolutely nothing* like her 4-year-old "girl scout." Then back to daughter. Back to mom once again. She's back in the mix!

"Give the man his cookies." For the first time, she sees me! She's rather cute for sure, but she has already confirmed to me that I am right, she's wayy out of my age range, although I completely understand she's perfect to some of you. No judgment for the sake of this post.

Still, I left once again feeling jaded, like maybe this time I got hoodwinked by people selling hot/stolen girl scout cookies lifted out of the back of a truck or something. I intended to go home and research how old you have to be to be a girl scout, because I was pretty damned sure *IT'S NOT FOUR EFFING YEARS OLD!!* Early five-years at most.

How satisfied was I with my chocolate-striped cookies, you all naturally ask? NOT good. Wayyy too much chocolate and not enough cookie. No wonder they will be discontinued. I hope the elves sue them for obvious product infringement:p

Still, no male trans kids on the box. I was relieved for that. I expect it soon enough, however. :(

The dillema goes on.

Sigh.. maybe I should just stick to the random classic overpriced lemonade stand from now on.

(Obviously I post these for writing self-entertainment and self-discovery, but they are always an actual true part of my life as well. Entertainment hoped, pandering to others never intended.)


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