Long ago when I was but a young lad, an older male lover of women who may or may not have been wise (I wasn't sure), gave me a bit of advice:

"The perfect girlfriend should be a gem of a lady in public, but a dirty little whore in the bedroom."

He was speaking of legal-age women of course, but his advice was fascinating to me, and I've pondered it for many decades ever since. Was he insightfully right, hopelessly twisted? Or was he just somewhere in between? More confusing, how did that mesh with the major religions? And even MORE confusing, how would that even apply to girl love? Or does it at all?

I've never mentioned it before, but this one line given to me offhandedly, probably in my teens by some old guy (I honestly can't remember who said it to me or what his success in life or social status was), has been one of many perplexing statements that have driven my exploration of desire and love at GC. Was it true, or was it not? Did it even apply to this love at all?

Add to this that in recent years, younger and younger girls are becoming "aware" of sex (and, let me break it to the nons), and discovering the nuances of expression of sex-appeal. Some of our lurkers truly have no idea how much... "worldiness" some kids are able to pick up on and absorb. How DEEPLY they understand these self-expressions.. well that's probably very much up for debate.

So I remember some poor old sap guys from my teens and early 20's... in total love with girls, paid them attention, and the girls probably even sorta liked them... but they were crushing these boys' hearts and souls by giving "far more" of themselves to either older or more popular or more muscular guys who were quite two-dimensional. Just being dumb girls, really.

I can relate to one very awesome slightly younger dude than myself, because he was kinda small physically, like the girl we both desired. (I had a girlfriend if I remember, and just really thought this other girl was gorgeous and sweet.) And yet, he was the guy any smart and wise girl would see as golden, to cling to, because he was not just decent looking, but knew right from wrong, and probably would have defended his lady to the death.

-Tammy-

She was already sorta-dating him. Beautiful and fresh-faced as she was to all the guys (even the older ones like me and others), her family was rather poor. She lived over-top of some drug store. Strangely enough, her parents often were not home, and it was the perfect place to party on weekends. We could walk out upon neighboring downtown rooftops, and I could later jack it to Tammy's sweet rosy cheeks and soft sweetness at home in the privacy of my own bed.

Sadly, though, I knew she was sort of, or maybe totally, a slut. It belied her aura of virginal innocence. She was about 15 or 16, but small in stature, just like the boy who adored her. By societal standards, they should have been the perfect couple.

And yet...

Somehow, these "boys of summer" somehow latched onto our group of locals. One of them was a complete dipshit. He was pumping gas for money, ugly as shit, but he was big and muscular. I was probably 18 at the time. This guy was probably 20.

Tammy, in spite of her angelic look, size, and personality, was secretly, a dirty little whore. She was fucking this older guy and not really even trying to keep it hidden from that good little guy who seemed to know her, and was bending over backwards to try to get her on the straight and narrow. He clearly adored her, and she was sticking a knife into his heart, seemingly without a care in the world. Some of my male friends and I lamented what a loser she was making him look like (and even though we were a few years older than her, it was silently understood we all would have loved to get with her ourselves). He was honestly a good dude. He wasn't a loser or some geek, but she was certainly making him one. And he did not deserve that sort of mindfuck.

Sighh...

In my early years, I lamented or looked with disdain myself... upon girls more or less within a few years of my own age... who seemed either seduced by older boys, or trying to "punch-up", and not caring what sort of carnage they left in their wake. I had a very negative opinion of those girls. I didn't believe that was truly love, and such girls were lesser for it in my mind.

..But then..

I became older, and my age preference did not follow in kind. In some ways, for many years, I started to look back on that idea of guys wishing for girlfriends who would see the error of their sexual proclivities as living in a fantasy world, or a world of a century ago. Still, I've never been able to reconcile things I prefer and things I desire. Tammy's young boyfriend was naive, a sucker, and also someone who deserved all the best in his future luck getting an incredibly perfect girlfriend.

Meanwhile, I eventually wondered if my desire for "a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom" could ever possibly exist at once in the real world. I now suspect these two personalities could never help but bleed over into one another and reveal her true nature.

Also, I still dream of finding such a girl anyway. Desire is often diametrically opposed, but I may never know how much of that is biological or societal. Can she curtsy with sincere modesty? Can she also do unspeakably filthy things with me behind locked doors? I will likely never fully know these great mysteries.

But.. props to that guy who loved Tammy so hopelessly.









• ( https link ) Dude deserved better. Am sure he found better.
[Anonymouse]