"I wish no similar fate to anyone. My nick has been challenged and this is a response, encouraged by your post of (maybe similar?) dispair."
I cannot say I feel despair, I have known that feeling in many stages of my life, but those days are long gone. Now... I don't feel despair, but I am not happy either.
I don't think I will stop posting here, why would I do it? A sudden heart or brain attack would make me vanish, but as far as I know, there are no problems with my pump, the problems are with the lungs, but they bother me only when I am making a long walk.