Yes, it was related to passwords.
At LL it wouldn't have mattered as you can register again with a different nick but of course the ethos in each is different.
Yes, I am generally more coherent now. A lot of things have changed about me. Although I'm a little more jaded about some things I'm also more at ease with myself and it shows.
I honestly don't know of alternate places. Lifeline is cool but with a clear BL majority. Plus its automatic registration attracts the occasional troll; although they are quickly detected too. I know B4 has a forum, but I don't know if it has a chat. Still because of its own purpose it would probably not be as "all purpose" as GCC and LL are. Even if Vichy has a chat (I seem to remember it does) it wouldn't be a place you would enjoy.
No site dictators really depends on what the leadership conceives the site for and as. You'd have to test it before you decide. Most of the time, on GC rules are interpreted tighter than on BC, for example. So, many BC regulars would regard us as dictatorial, but it was organic growth from both of our boards into how to interpret what started identical. At the same time I am sure most GC regulars would regard Vichy as dictatorial. Even though it specifically bans certain speech, I have no evidence that if you stay away from it you'd get in trouble.
Legality means that anything darknet is off the question. Good idea. I am sure that being darknet doesn't compulsorily mean that illegal stuff goes on or is encouraged. However it means that enforcing it is harder and that you may stumble upon it without trying to. The risk is minimized on GC, GCC, and BC and LL.
Perhaps the option is to return to pigeons.