It is not easy to answer, because you do not give any details -- and if you leave the details out for security reasons, it is just good.

I have wasted decades of my life for various reasons, but now that I am old, I feel that it is not even a loss. Anyway, it would not have been possible to get any farther in my life than to the end of life.

I'd like to say something more, but I just don't know what to say.