Now I give myself a permisson to be content again

You already know what it means, I have come up with something that I am satisfied with, and it is a good feeling. No reason to speak more about it and make you tired.

The (probably nonexistent) god had mercy on me once more.

(When I have gotten older I have sometimes wondered ... yes, this is a difficult thing to explain. Imagine how indescribably immense the universe is, and imagine that there are other universes too. Though none of that requires any higher power to exist, it does not deny it either -- no, I am not speaking about any dwarfish atrophied god that human beings speak about, but something that simply would be beyond the reach of our understanding, something that could be described only this way

One Arabic mystic said: "god exists" and "god does not exist" are one and the same thing. And we can leave it at that, and besides we should forget the distasteful word god, and if any name could be used, it could be "presence".)