In the news July 20 2021

NEW YORK CITY. (Agencies) Local 7 year old girl Melody Graffenberg has become the youngest lawyer in the nation as she passed with honors the bar exam. A child genius who spoke 5 languages by the age of 2 weeks and learned to write in English by age 4 months and in Mandarin when she was 10 months old, she is also interested in Gothic architecture and the asexual reproduction of plants. Her professors praised her dedication to her studies and spoke highly of her.

She is expected to appear in court soon and exercise her knowledge as she defends herself in a landmark federal child pornography case as she will try to prove with forensic evidence that she is not the panty clad girl in pictures found in the possession of notorious European pervert Karl Pisikóvić who is standing accused in the United Kingdom for the molestation of 2647 girls and four boys aged as young as two. The 29 year old is considered to be the leader of infamous pervert ring only known as The Institute who operate worldwide but have been negatively affected by Brexit and the global pandemic.

/satire