..but my self-driving Google car was concerned about my recent web search for pigtails, deciding that it would actually be better for me instead to take in the Choosing Transgenderism For Climate Change lecture at the local community college while waiting for the castration appointment it suddenly scheduled on my behalf. As a post-Davos human right, it's now (thankfully) a free health service, and if I actually go through with it, I even get a gift certificate for a handsomely packaged, discounted shush-kabob made of UN-approved insect protein, textured cauliflower, and my own penis.
Of course, if I don't do it, my credit card gets dinged again, and I will only be allowed into to the now-vegan grocery markets on Tuesdays with the other uncultured grunts who resist their genital extraction correction surgery. They are an unhinged bunch who elicit fear amongst the normals, so security is tight.
Generally speaking though, I felt quite lucky to be allowed to leave my eco-shoebox today and go somewhere else without the usual wait time for the permit. I know the C02 that I exhale is killing the planet, so it felt quite the privilege as one of the human parasites that I know we all are.
Did you know the word "art" is part of the word "earth"? This is really deep. It means something. I think I'm going to have it tattooed across my forehead to look more edgey to the other units.
I'm not deserving enough to visit the park just yet. I think I'll work on my signaling catch-phrases on social media and see where my point spread social credit lands me.
Good luck, uh-erry-body else!