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Hermit's life

Posted by griffith on Friday, April 23 2021 at 11:27:56PM

I am old already, and I live like a hermit. I never visit anyone, I don't even want it, and receiving guests would be just a burden to me -- I hope that nobody ever visits me. I keep my apartment relatively tidy, but still I don't want to show it to anyone.

Am I lonely? In fact no. I don't want to see people, and the corona time has just made me more reclusive. I'm not connected, but I am connected enough -- I have a couple of friends for text messages, a couple of more real life friends for internet messages, sometimes I take part in a virtual AA meeting when it suits my sleeping pattern, and I am connected to a few relatives. About OUR community: I know what people say on GC and VoA, and that is it. I don't even do any email with MAPs.

So I am not connected, and it is just good.

I'm obsessively interested in my writing ideas, though it is usually very hard and tiring to try and develop them. That is almost the only thing in my life that still feels meaningful.

My sexual drive has dried up: my physical ability weakened a lot after the prostata medicines and then the TURP surgery, but luckily my interest in sex has weakened at the same time, so it is not a problem.

I don't want to travel, I have traveled enough in the distant past. A few years ago I went to Germany, and it was hard enough.

So I am not connected except for a few real life friends, relatives and the GC and VoA posters on these two boards. Those are my only GL connections.

Do I complain? Certainly, I always complain. My life is very dull, but I don't have the slightest idea what could make it more lively, because new things do not interest me, and often the mere existence is a burden to me. So I have no reason to complain, nothing can be changed, this is old man's life, and maybe it cannot be any better.

I am sorry that I am so dull, but this is the only life nowadays that I know.


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