...twice because of my grandnieces, the first time was in Christmas when I had no money to buy them Christmas presents; then my sister lent me some money and I was able to buy some modest presents. This is still painful to think about, so it is good that I write it here.

The second time was when my then-favorite grandniece left and I knew it would be a long time before I could see her again, and her living conditions were not good where she lived then... so I felt pity.