A relieving thought (personal)

I understood that I can take my "thinking work", or brainwork, a little more lightly. In the last few days I have again been extremely frustrated.

I solved my latest problem in an "easy" way, and something inside me says that it is all right. Never before have I felt this way, I have always tried to be perfect (it's a different thing if I have succeeded).

I have realized that there may be something abnormal about my so-called thinking work, I toil like ten horses and make myself sick and very depressed, maybe even get extrasystoles (the right expression?) for that reason.

And an even more relieving though occurred to me today: possibly I have already invented all the new ideas I need for the time being. I don't want to explain this more closely here.

I am not young any more, and I am allowed to retire, also retire from my own work!!!!

And just be, just exist.

Of course I won't stop that thinking work entirely, but I can take it in a more relaxed way.