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Eeyore's Holiday Cider Hot Toddy Recipe

Posted by Eeyore on Saturday, November 28 2020 at 9:35:18PM

A very body-warming beverage for a chilly winter evening. Easy does it and slow sips (92 proof rum). Enjoy.

Young Friend version:

1 packet of instant hot apple cider
8 ounces hot water
Spray-nozzled whipped cream topping
Ginger cookie (or miniature ginger bread Pedobear, seasonally available at Pedobarn, or online at Sweet Unmentionables Confectionery)
Long cinnamon stick
Dash nutmeg (do not confuse nutmeg with nutbutter, you sick fuck.)
Festive mug

Pour apple cider mix into mug. Mix in hot water, making sure it is not too hot before serving. Top with whipped cream spiral. Top cream with a single Redhots candy. Sprinkle with nutmeg. Carefully lay ginger cookie on cream. Insert cinnamon stick (should be long enough to use as a stirrer).

CL'er version:

Same as above, but add sprinkled ground cloves with the nutmeg, and one shot of Sailor Jerry spiced rum, or two shots for authentic donkey-kick version.

Personally, I find a full cider packet to be too sweet for my taste, so I use half a packet. I forego the whipped cream and cookie, but add a dash of ground clove and nutmeg directly to the cider mix.

Finish off by letting a single bitter tear fall into your drink while noting you recently heard that special pretty teen blonde you met from the internet 20 years ago who ran away to the big city and whom you could never forget, is now a married folk singer with four kids. Crap, typing out loud again:(

Clink your mugs together before snuggling in to watch Eeyore's favorite classic holiday film, Prancer.


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