Was this in 2020? How are you doing now?
This must have been a horrible year for you.
Health issues aside, using your age/appearance as an excuse to stop living sounds a bit like PDA, or a lazy copout. If grey hair and a fat belly was unappealing to kids, Santa would never have been such a hit! ;D
But I think you deserve to be happy, and if you desire an uneventful but reflective, peaceful old age, I certainly grant you that.
Did you ever have kids? (If you are comfortable answering).
When I see someone beautiful,
I tend to stare.