re: thoughts..

I have been put out once, but it happened when I was a child (tonsils operation).

I have often thought that there is nothing special about death: I die every time I fall asleep.

Psychedelics? No one has ever offered them to me, so I have no experience about them. There is another, very cogent reason why I have not tried them: my father suffered from schizophrenia, and I know from experience that I am susceptible to that disease.

But there is something hard and unbroken and frozen inside me, something that avoids all touch and reasoning, and I have thought that psychedelics could help to break that hard knot in very controlled circumstances.