Except love is fueled by all of those things too.
To descend/ascend to a different plane of thought, we could say that love and hate exist in equal measure in all human minds. You can't unlearn how to hate, it's deciding what to hate that matters. For example, the loving man is loving because he 'hates' unkindness. He is 'selfless' because it brings him joy to be such, and so is actually selfish. To do otherwise would be a betrayal of his personal ego.
All of the traits you listed exist in every human to some degree, it's how we respond to those feelings that group us into 'good' and 'bad'. I often say if you think someone is a flawless human being then there's something you don't know about them, and the opposite applies for if you think they're terrible. It's usually what people represent to us that strikes us the most, rather than what they really are. So who we wish a person to be and who they really are becomes impossible to determine on a personal level. It's why people will continue believing something even when they have been proven wrong, or at the very least make compromises.
Feeding the wolf is as natural as breathing. It's more about what we feed it that matters. For example, I am writing this post right now with the hope that someone will be inspired, for better or worse. Mainly because I 'hate' a lack of discussion, and 'love' its abundance. Every act is self-serving. Thoughts of desire are inevitable, but cognition is malleable. The tools to do so can come from the external world, but the process of change must be internal (it's why mentally ill patients have to believe in CBT for it to work). The solution lies in creating an environment where the human mind can roam freely by playing with ideas and coming to resolutions and, what a surprise, it all starts with childhood.