On VoA pictures of shirtless boys are not allowed even if they are just in the background. And I apparently posted a link to such a pic.

That was the official reason for my ban... but not the whole story.

It is very unlikely that you will be permabanned for something as innocuous as that. With my case though it was a 'last straw' situation where they were just looking for a reason to ban me following a three month decline (since April or so) of my mental state and behaviour brought on by my inability to deal with the isolation of lockdown due to my medical condition that involves an over-active immune system which is aggravated by isolation and less contact with a healthy amount of every day environmental bacteria/contaminants/etc.

In short - I am in moderate to extreme pain almost every other day. There is no cure for the disease I have.

As you most know, I am an educational/occupational therapist. I work with special needs individuals of all sorts, and I am subsequently well versed regarding applied behavior analysis (ABA) and other behavior modification techniques. This makes it easy for me to see the root and true cause of my behavioural problem -- my physical condition.

It should come as no surprise that after 15 years dealing with this I have given up on drs and that lately I have been self medicating with alcohol and other legal substances.

It seems that support groups are willing to accept and help me deal with my paedophilia, but any other problems I have, they prefer and insist I deal with on my own. Ironic, since peadophilia has always been the lesser of my demons compared to all the shit ive been through with my health since childhood.


When I see someone beautiful,
I tend to stare.
Sorry.