* Prehistoric men: Became the dominant lifeform on Earth. Survived the last Ice Age and founded civilization.

* Ancient men: Fought the Trojan War and the Conquest of the Holy Land. Founded empires that conquered the world.

* Medieval men: Fought the Crusades. Went a-viking. Had potentially-deadly jousting tournaments for fun.

* Modern men: Fought two World Wars. Walked on the moon.

* Postmodern men: Petrified with fear of a virus. Even more afraid to admit that they are attracted to young girls.

SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!