I wish I could help! There's a light at the end of the tunnel, there's got to be.
I'm having a pretty miserable time of things right now myself. Some time ago there was a little spark of hope - the chance of a new door opening. That door didn't open and I was running out of money. At least I still had some time with girls though. Now that's gone too : (
We'll get through this. Maybe the best times are yet to come!