A guy sent me a message saying, "Certainly you understand the word play".

What word play? I wondered. It was so primitive, so basic, that I did not even see any word play. I was tempted to say to him, "Press you word play through Sanskrit and Swahili and all the European languages, and perform some tricks inside every individual language, and also use mathematical and musical notation, and only then come and tell me about word plays".

That guy does even know English and knows nothing about literature, and I cannot share any GL thoughts with him, because his stepfather abused him when he was small. He is not the sharpest lamp in the household, but at my age you must be content with what is available; anyway he is kind and benevolent and has some kind of humour and tries to do his best. And often feels depression or anxiety just like me.

I said elsewhere that I don't even want new people to my life, so I must accept the acquaintances/pals/friends that are available. Of course, if I make friends with someone smart and humorous and kind in the future, it is a different thing...

And then, when I was coming home and was crossing a street, a car drove too fast and stopped just inches before the pedestrian crossing, so I had to take some hasty steps to get out of its way; I stopped and stepped back to the pedestrian crossing and glared at them, and for a second or two I was ready to fight them. Then I thought that they are just oligophrenic youngsters who have never opened a book but know everything about cars and speed, and I realized they are not worth my anger. I have not wasted a thought on cars since I threw my last toy car into the toy box for the last time as a small boy and stopped playing.

But in fact I should be in a good mood, because yesterday three minor problems worried me, and today they are all over. But somehow I don't know how to be in a good mood.