Reminded of my first ever female friend, blond and adorable, for whom I fell massively in love with... before one day claiming my alpha status over her by tearing her speedometer sticker off of her big wheel. Fuck her, I thought.

You people judge me for that? SHE PISSED ME OFF!! Sometimes a 4-year-old boy's gotta do what a man does.

Nevermind that I was made to apologize for making her cry and broke down like a total pussy and cried while I said I was sorry. Bitch deserved it. She threw my Curious George doll down the stairwell, and as any self-respecting guy with yet-to-drop balls, I had to take my stand.

No regrets. Not even in this fleeting woke era.