Re: The Complexities of using Augustinian definitions

Depends what you mean by hurt I guess. Physically hurt or emotionally hurt.

If I see someone I care about doing something I know isn't good for them then I should do the right thing and confront them about it even if it hurts them emotionally.

For instance, my friend is taking drugs or is in an abusive relationship or even something less obvious like my friend is scared of marriage and is about to break off a relationship with someone they are in love with because they're scared. Should I ignore these mistakes or should I be a friend and talk to them about it even if I know they won't want to face these problems and it could even damage our friendship? With family it can be even harder.

I guess that could be considered hurting someone for their good.

Physical abuse is less obvious but there may be extreme situations such as restraining a friend from doing harm to themselves or others or causing damage in some other way.

Beating your child to correct them is clearly very very wrong. I've never smacked my children and never would. I talk to them and when they make mistakes I talk through them so they learn why something is wrong, understand the reasoning behind why its wrong. Beating a child doesn't teach them anything other than a fear reaction but they won't understand the logic behind why they shouldn't do something. Equally I work hard to build their confidence and that comes from being shown respect and being able to discuss things. The only time I can imagine hurting them would be challenging them later in life if they were doing something wrong and they didn't want to face it and that would be verbal. As for physically hurting I can't imagine that at all except to restrain them in some extreme event but if I do my parenting right now then that should never be needed.