Re: A YF is not property.

-If 18 is where the state sets it that's where its fine with me. There are also ways a child younger than that can get legally declared an adult though. As for your second paragraph of that point, I would do my best to inform and change the opinion of the parent in such matters, but in the end I think its best that they choose what's best for the child. As for the first point, I think that whoever is taking care of the child, feeding them, clothing them, paying for the things they need, is the parent, and should be given authority over the child. (In most cases this will be a person they share DNA with.)

-I think an adult will, in more cases than not, be able to discern what's best for the minor than the minor will be able to decide what's best for themselves. While that is a statement that could be made about slavery in my opinion its akin to saying all mushrooms are good for you because one mushroom turned out to be healthy when in fact it could kill you. You don't use the health of one mushroom to decide whether all mushrooms are good. You take it on a case by case bases.

-I honor Abby's privacy and autonomy greatly. Thing is, so does her mother. (In my opinion maybe not yours). She let her choose what school she wanted to go to (within reason), whether she wanted to go to church or not, what activities and charities she is involved, etc. There are just some things that I think the parents are going to have to decide for their child whether the child wants to or not. (Not that she ever goes to Mcdonalds, but lets say the child wanted to eat fast food every meal. I have known children that have wanted to do this even knowing the negative health consequences if they did do it.)

-If the mother refused to allow me to let Abby around groups such as those you listed I would tell the mother that while she is under my care I will let her around people such as that. She will either have to say I'm not allowed to take care of her or allow it.

-If it was my child and I thought they were competent I would let them. I haven't run into a situation like that with Abby, but if I did I would bring it up with Abby's mother on Abby's behalf, but in the end I will respect her wishes.

-It's not supporting on an arbitrary basis. I believe that Abby's mother knows whats best for her in more cases than I do. Though as I'm around her more that gap narrows. It hasn't really come into conflict anyway. Once again what if she wants to carve her destiny of eating endless cheeseburgers? She can do it, but only once she turns 18. Or at least gets a job and pays for her own.