made me feel lots of love with this post, and part of your family. Don't forget me. I don't know what the near future holds for me Bottle, but I'm a bit scared. I can't seem to stop acquiring certain media that is "borderline". I tried, but can't do it. I need it. I love it. I have bad feelings that I will sooner or later have to live with all around me knowing my attraction, and therefore assuming I'm a terrible monster that should be put to sleep. If something happens, and you see a good length of time go by without seeing my nick here on gc, you'll know that my gut was right (I hope it's not). But I just feel like I've involved myself in this stuff to the point that there's no hope for me ever recovering and avoiding what I believe to be my future grim fate. I'm probably going to start packing my pocket blaster, and "take myself out" if they (the totalitarian bastards) try to "take me in". I read the news here on gc of current events (sex offenders being confined in "funky treatment centers" after serving their time in prison, babysitting becoming illegal, speaking in defense of pedophilia becoming illegal, cartoon lg characters with adults heads, schools and libraries and many many other organizations and businesses blocking certain websites such as gc so that the people who need support from fellow pedos can't get it even if they tried). I just feel like the future doesn't look so good for me, or for our community either. Maybe some cl's will be able to survive without any outlet, but I will not be able to. I will self-destruct by coming out to people before I know I can trust them. I may likely go insane. If managed to win myself a trip to the slammer and parole, I wouldn't be able to access gc when paroled, since they monitor "sex-offenders' internet activity. I wouldn't doubt if in the near future they invent some kind of bracelot that's even able to monitor your activity on when on ANY pc (via some kind of wireless transmition device). Boy I tell you that technology is really proving to be a weapon of enslavement. If you ever want to exchange emails with me thru gc admin, I would be very willing. Well thanks again for your words bottle, and keep me in the back of your mind, when and if, you see a peculiar dry spell in my posting. SJA