I have reservations about believing your story. But I'll respond assuming you are true.

I'm sorry to hear that the father of your children died two years ago. I don't understand how you could state that as fact, then move on to another subject as if it is no big deal. Two years is an awfully short time. Perhaps your relationship with him was such that his passing was one of life's small tragedies, but for a boy and girl to loose their father at such a young age is devistating, and will be a significant factor in defining their persons and lives well into adulthood, regardless of how they feel about it, or how much they know about it now.

It is difficult for me to respond to anything beyond this. Your boyfriend dilema seems so insignificant and irrelevant.

You are going to let your 10 year old daughter testify against your boyfriend? Why? Will this improve his life? Hell, no! Will this improve her life? Absolutely not. Will this improve your life? Unknown.

You are correct, in that not all pedophiles are the same. Some are decent, respectable, and admirable. Others are not. I don't know your boyfriend, but you do. You need to determine whether he is a threat to children, and stand by your decision.

There are 3 choices:
a) He is a good man
b) He is a bad man
c) Maybe he is a bad man, maybe not, but I love him either way and/or I don't want to be involved in his legal problems.

None of these choices require your daughter to testify in court. If this guy is a danger to children, he can be convicted without the help (or psychologigal damage) to your daughter. Please do not allow her to be psychologically abused in this way. As a mother, you will undoubtedly share wonderful and terrible experiences with your baby girl as she grows up. This is natural and healthy. If her earliest experience in life is putting a man in prison, this is neither healthy nor natural. Leave her out of it, and allow her to become the person she was meant to be, with your guidence.

To answer your "stupid questions", "liking girls" is not an obsession, nor does it consume my life. You confuse me with your comparison to "look at a guy, but don't want him" and "look at a girl if she is pretty" comments. If you are not a pedophile, you will never understand, and just have to accept that. I am not a homosexual, nor do I understand their feelings, nor will I ever understand them, regardless of how hard I try, and I have to accept that.

Don't involve your daughter in your boyfriend's case. She deserves to live a happy and healthy life. If this guy is a scumbag, he can and will be convicted without her help. It is not worth sacrificing her normal development to put one guy in jail. That is a burden no ten year old should have to deal with, or even know about. He will serve his time and be done with it, and that will be that for him.

Your son is perhaps even more volnerable to this situation than your daughter is. Please be careful. I don't know if he has a father figure in his life, but a teenage boy whose father dies, and whose little sister was raped by his mother's boyfriend is ...

well there seem to be a lot of problems here. Your questions don't seem relevant to what is really important. Please evaluate your (ex?) boyfriend and decide once and for all what your relationship with him is, if any, so you can move on to more important things in life.